Alive..

Sometimes wonder how the birds feel as they fly while icy needle-thin droplets pelt and bounce off their skin...
A blessing hidden, a curse gone in vain,
cloaked caresses as a drop of rain.
Wet and moist, memories trickle
thickly down my mind's glass pane.

Sweet lost love, foes bitter gained,
stir within, churning liquid my frozen angst;
Unsightly greys grow bold and dark
sorrows thicken as clouds, and rain.

Cold, I shiver as the droplets sting...
Rain, why do you personify everything?
You melt me and yet make me numb,
your wet kiss is my warm spring.

Sadness in madness, thrillingly insane...
Rain, beloved, prick me alive yet again.

Somehow of all the years, this year will hold a special place forever in my memories.
I know its not december, nor is it even close to year end, but we are definitely past the middle of it and its official- 2011 is "different" for me. So many reasons why- but the deepest and best reason is that this is the year I realized who I am, really really am. Not that I whooped with joy at the discovery :) far from it...but I know.

Friends, fears, follies, all came to the fore
Of life, could I have asked any more?
To the brink, at the edge, you are asked and you choose
your identity wrapped in the answer by which you are wooed.
No terrible wrath from the heavens in a flash
just a steady downpour of rain leaving you awash
Guilt, pain, tears, shame, prick yet lesser day after day
The harsher black-white values shrug softer into a grey
Imagination stretched a little too hard
touched reality and it cut like a shard
Dreams are softer, thats why they keep
after all its dreams that differentiate death from sleep.